


Starry Nights

by spicykaneki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:15:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4866128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicykaneki/pseuds/spicykaneki





	Starry Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: this is terrible

I still remember those warm summer nights. The ones where’d you throw pebbles at my bedroom window because it was already past midnight, and you knew I was still up. You always knew how I’d like to play games til dawn broke, and you took advantage of that. And when you finally got my attention, you’d tell me to go to the countryside with you. That the sky looked a lot better there than it did here in the city. Somehow, you always convinced me, not like it was hard to. And there I was, climbing out of my bedroom window at 2 am just to spend more time with the boy I fell in love with years ago. We’d get into the old pickup truck your dad gave you on your 16th birthday, and you’d drive to what you described as a “sweet place to enjoy the stars.” It was nothing but an empty field far from where we lived. But it became special to me, because you brought me there. And we’d spend the night lying on an old blanket you brought, just staring up at a glimmering sky. I always ended up comparing the stars to your eyes, but they’d never shine as bright. 

I still remember when you told me that you felt the same way I did. How you promised me so many sweet nothings, that now when I think about it, probably meant nothing. There’s been so many times where you’ve told me that you would die to be with me but couldn’t because of personal reasons or age difference. Yeah, I knew you were off to college next year, we were just a year apart though. I would’ve suggested you to wait for me if I wasn’t so afraid that I’d come off as selfish to you, so I’d always agree to whatever you said. I always tried to refrain from feeling stupid, thinking that you’d actually be mine one day. But it all changed the night I let you take me, after that it was all you ever wanted from me. Every time you visited, it’d get hot and heavy just so you’d leave moments after. I mistook that for love and affection, that doing it was the only way to show you how much you meant to me.

I still remember how everything slowly began to change once you finally left for college. You’d visit less, and when you did, you’d have freshly bruised skin that didn’t come from me. You’d act different too, more distant. I didn’t get to see that “shit eating” grin that’d make my stomach tie in knots as often. Your affectionate words dulled out. You didn’t look at me like you used to either, no more of those love filled eyes that I’ve come to adore with every fiber of my being. Every meeting, you’d touch me less and less. I craved for your touch, oh god I thought I was gonna die without it. But who was I to make you do things you didn’t want to do?

I still remember when you finally stopped coming over and barely talked to me anymore. How all those once sweet words began to haunt my mind late at night, how they made me ache. And at some point they’d make me cry, because I missed you. I missed those moments we had together. I’d be buried deep in nostalgia, too pain ridden and just too busy wallowing in self loathing to do anything anymore. Sure, other people I wasn’t as close to visited. They would always try so hard to make me feel better. Protect me from all those rumors about you, how you always had a new fucktoy every week. I tried not to listen but they’d always creep into my ear and just settle in my mind for the longest of times. I never really understood how my friends stuck by my side through all of that shit. I would’ve given up on myself long ago. But I never truly healed, those wounds ran deep.

I still remember when everything we did eventually meant nothing to me, nothing meant anything to me anymore. I was completely numb, but you’re not to blame. Not like you care anyway, and in all honesty, I don’t either. Not anymore. I decided it was time to get over this one sided love. I was told that the best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to enjoy what I have left of my final year of high school, and I don’t care what you’ll think of me if anything about me reaches your ears. Just know, that at some point in my life, I was truly in love with you. You were all I cared about, but now everything’s different. But I want to thank you for being my first, and hopefully last, love and heartbreak. And if you see me around, don’t even bother saying hello. Especially since you left so easily without a goodbye.


End file.
